CARTER'S ROOM IN THE CHATEAU

October 2002

October held big changes for us. First, Stacy was supposed to go back to work on the 15th. Two weeks before Stacy's maternity leave ended, Wendy started her position as Carter's nanny. Stacy was relieved to have the two weeks to really get to know Wendy and for her get to know us. Since Wendy started while Carter was still colicky, Stacy and Wendy focused on how

October 4-6
This weekend we headed to South Carolina to visit Stacy's dad and attend Stacy's high school reunion. Most of Friday was spent getting everything we needed for Carter organized and packed. Fortunately Carter napped in Wendy's arms so Stacy could pack up the car with all the baby gear. When nothing else would fit, it was time to go! Stacy fed Carter and we hit the road. Carter slept for the first half of the trip and fussed for the second half. We almost made it with only two stops for nursing, but as we entered Greenville at 11 PM, Carter demanded one more stop. We finally got to Bill's, unpacked the car, set up the bouncy chair and called it a night. The reunion events started off Saturday morning with a family picnic at Cleveland Park. Stacy fed Carter and we drove to the park, where, after wandering for a few minutes, Brad spotted Kem and the rest of the group. We had a great time seeing Stacy's old friends and meeting their spouses and children. Brad was able to get Carter settled down for a bottle, and overall Carter did really well. Saturday night we left Carter with Bill, Bryan and Jenny, Bryan's girlfriend, while we went to Harry's Deli for the evening reunion events. We had a great time! Lots of people Stacy hadn't seen since graduation were there, and Brad enjoyed meeting everyone. Stacy won the award for newest mommy! But of course Carter was always in the back of our minds. We only called home to check on him once, and Bill said everything was under control. After a couple hours, we called it an evening and hurried back to Bill's. When we got there, we found Carter peacefully sleeping in Jenny's lap while Bill and Bryan played pool. We were so relieved that Carter hadn't had a bad colicky night!! Jenny was wonderful with him and Bryan's yellow lab Dutch even obeyed Bryan's commands to "leave it" whenever he got too close to the sleeping baby. By far the favorite quote of the weekend was Bryan's question to us, "Do you read to it?" Sunday was time to drive back to Richmond. We stopped 2 or 3 times to feed Carter including and once more to do just a diaper change. Although we had a great time in Greenville and loved seeing Stacy's family, It was not the greatest trip back and we have no plans for another road trip anytime soon!

October 10
Carter turned three months this month - October 10 to be exact - and colic is supposed to end at three months. So the magical day finally arrived, and.... Carter had a terrible night of fussing and crying. And the next night. And the next night! But eventually we realized that there had been a change. Once we picked Carter up and walked a little, he stopped crying, which was not the case during colic. So we figured out that colic was no longer the problem -- Carter was just used to being held and walked to sleep every night. So Stacy surfed the web and Brad headed to Barnes and Noble to find advice from Dr. Ferber and other sleep experts.

October 17
Brad was in class at UR this evening, so Stacy started the Ferber method of sleep training on her own. Before tonight, whenever Carter cried during the night, we picked him up. Ferber explains that a baby who is used to being rocked or walked to sleep (such as during colic) can't put himself back to sleep when he cycles into a lighter sleep phase during the night. He has a great analogy -- if you're used to falling asleep with a pillow under your head, and when you wake up in the middle of the night to find the pillow gone, you'll have trouble getting back to sleep. Makes sense to us! So Ferber's method is to gradually let the baby learn to put himself back to sleep. So we are supposed to put Carter to bed, sleepy but not asleep. When he cries we reassure him by talking to him or patting him (but not picking him up) at 5 minute intervals. The first night we are to check on him after 5 minutes of crying, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes and continue checking every 15 minutes until he goes to sleep. The next night it's 10, 15 and 20 minutes. And so on.

So tonight Stacy put Carter to bed at 9:40 PM and when he started to cry, she started a timer. For 5 minutes he cried on his own and she did the dishes. It's horrible to admit but after all these months of crying and comforting it actually felt liberating to have permission to do something else other than rush right in there and pick him up. It took almost 2 hours of the intervals, but by 11:30 PM Carter fell asleep. Brad was very unhappy with the whole process. So when Carter woke up at midnight to eat (all that work for just 30 minutes of sleep!), he didn't want to try Ferber again. But after he ate, Carter only cried for 11 minutes and then went to sleep, so it wasn't nearly as traumatic for any of us.

We aren't asking Wendy to use the Ferber method at naptime, at least not yet. The crying would be too loud with Brad trying to work and carry on telephone conversations downstairs. Supposedly it isn't a problem to treat naptime and bedtime differently, so we'll see how it goes.

October 26
Tonight was Kate Parker's wedding (Jenny Parker's sister). Brad's sister Brooks was nice enough to come to Richmond from DC to babysit Carter.

October 29
Tonight was Carter's first night in his crib since the diagnosis of reflux back in early August. He woke up every hour or so and we got up each time to soothe him or feed him back to sleep. He wasn't overly fussy, it was just such a change that anytime he drifted into a lighter sleep he woke up because of the different environment. Eventually we got through the night though and the next night went much better. We excited to have him sleeping in the crib - it looks so much more comfortable than the bouncy chair and it was always so hard to strap him into the bouncy chair without waking him completely up.

October 31
For Carter's first Halloween, he was a precious little pea pod! When we were originally choosing a costume, we tried to find one that didn't depend on a hat to complete the look, just in case he refused to wear it. The pea pod bunting worked great, and the little leafy hat actually didn't bother Carter at all. Since Carter's a little young for candy, our trick-or-treating was limited to a stop at Gretchen's house. After a nice visit, Brad bundled him up and carried him the block and a half back to our house. Carter was asleep on Brad's shoulder by the time we got home and didn't even wake up when we put him down in his crib.